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DARRIN BELL
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Site was down, now it’s up

I’m glad you guys e-mail me whenever the site’s down (and it’s been down four times since March ’08). My host sometimes isn’t what you’d call responsive (last time it was down it took three days for them to fix it), but this time they fixed it just five minutes after I submitted the trouble ticket. Of course, before they let me submit the ticket in the first place, I had to ping my site, run a traceroute and reroute the warp drive through the flux capacitors using my Mac’s “terminal” application (a command-line app that always reminds me why I haven’t touched a Windows PC since high school), and paste the results into the ticket. And THAT took about 45 minutes to complete while my readers were greeted with a blank white screen with tiny black letters that wrote “The e-mail could not be sent.
 Possible reason: your host may have disabled the mail() function…”.

During which time, Fox News published a study showing the following:

• 5% of you didn’t think “disabled the mail() function…” was as funny as yesterday’s strip.

•27% of male visitors between the ages of 12 and 109 hit “back” on their browsers to repeat their Google search for “Bush.”

•10% of Candorville readers lost interest and switched allegiance to “Beetle Bailey.”

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