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DARRIN BELL
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This is How a President Fights Back

I think by now it’s safe to say one thing about President Obama: He doesn’t like confrontation. But he also said he wanted to be a transformational president, in the mold of Reagan and Roosevelt (perhaps tellingly, he only cited Reagan. But Reagan was the Bizarro Roosevelt, so…). The problem is, if history’s any guide, transformational presidents not only have to be confrontational, they have to LOVE being confrontational. Take, for example, this video that’s been making the rounds of the Internet all day: Transformational presidents, in times of crisis, have one thing in common: they use the bully pulpit to call out the people or institutions who caused the crisis, and don’t shy away from portraying them not as good-natured people who simply disagree on how to make America a better place, but as enemies of the people. Reagan said government was the problem and went after it with a meat cleaver… and ushered in thirty years of deregulation. Roosevelt said Wall Street plutocrats and war profiteers were the enemies, and he prosecuted them… and ushered in forty years of progressive economics and the creation of the social safety net. Lincoln… Lincoln was the Toyota Prius of transformational presidents. Half transformational, half caretaker. He identified anti-federalism as the enemy, and turned a country in which people once considered themselves primarily Virginians, or New Yorkers, or Georgians; into one in which people considered themselves to be Americans. But on the other hand, he failed to identify racists as the enemy (he was, after all, a product of his era) and while slavery ended, we still suffered 100 more years of Jim Crow laws. When a president is reluctant to identify an enemy in times of crisis – or worse yet, when he identifies the enemy but then fails to go after that enemy with all the powers at his disposal – he creates an enemy-vacuum. And voter anger abhors a vacuum. In the absence of an enemy, in the eyes of the voters, he becomes the enemy. Ford. Carter. Bush I. Perhaps, Obama. I’m sure both Obama’s supporters and his detractors wish he’d show some of Roosevelt’s, or Reagan’s, backbone. Americans respect strong presidents, even when they disagree with them. On the other hand, there’s one crucial difference between 1936 and 2011: Nobody would ever have portrayed Roosevelt’s cheerful, caustic, dismissive attacks on Republicans as evidence he’s an uppity, angry black man. To paraphrase Politico, in a few days, the President’s going to give a speech proposing either bold jobs programs the Republican House will block, or timid, ineffectual programs the Republican House will block. Meanwhile, in the alternate universe where Democrats still have testosterone, President Obama will be giving a speech that goes something like this:

Fox “News” Viewers React to Release of Obama’s Birth Certificate

Today, President Obama finally released his long-form birth certificate to prove he’s an American. In other words, the country finally released long-form certification that we continue to be a nation plagued by racist assholes. Millions of Americans (45% of Republicans, according to a recent poll) just can’t accept that a black man is a true American. No amount of proof is enough to squash a conspiracy theory, because conspiracy theories aren’t about facts; they’re about people refusing to accept that history’s moved on and left them or their worldview in the dust. The facts are always, always incidental. The people who clung to their Obama-is-an-Other fantasy (also known as “Fox News Viewers”) will now simply refuse to believe their own eyes. For example… (culled from the reader responses to the release of the certificate…)
“It’s a Certificate of birth… Not a Birth Certificate which has the seal, mothers finger print and baby’s feet prints… Certificate of birth, easily forged… Birth Certificate, cannot be forged…I hope they do a chemical analysis on the paper and ink.” -heydad614 “To the best of my knowledge, that green “crossthatch” paper didn’t exist in 1961. Had a white sheet of paper been place on the copier screen, then copied using that green paper, you’d see a white sheet of paper copied onto that larger green crossthatch paper. If someone has information to the contrary, as in, when exactly that style of paper came into being and when it became a standard for State’s to use it for birth certificate, vehicle titles…as well as banks to use it (for checks), I’m all ears. And eyes.” -Rod Vanger “His mother’s mother, his grandmother stated that she went to Kenya for his birth. Remember, you don’t have to be born in the USA to be an Illinois State Senator. Just so happens she didn’t live long enough to see the election and explain why she could possibily be mistaken as to where her grandson was born. Yup, people forge documents all the time and money and power get really good documents. This isn’t over. Where did he say he was born on the college forms that he filed. That is where the investigation should go. If he falsified the forms to get Federal Grant or Scholarahip monies then he would be guilty of Fraud. Trump must go after those forms next. “A person who has nothing to hide hides nothing”.” -sunkgleska “He should show it he has had three years to have one made up!!!!!!!!!!!!” -dissmayed “So, now the question remains, why did Obama pay over $2 Million, in legal fees, to prevent his birth certificate from seeing the light of day, only to now release it (over two years after the election), or did he? Is this a real birth certificate? What about the university and health records?” -Wolfman Jones “Why would they refer to him as African as his race …. and his mother as cauc. ? Something isn’t right here… African is not a Race!! Also his mother was 17 when she became pregnant with Obama… many of us were led to believe she met Obama Senior while in college…. hummm…. like I said something just isn’t right….” -goway “It only took 2+ years for him to produce one at all. Now EITHER this is the real one and it took Trump hasseling him about it for him to finally produce it OR it is NOT a real one but it took 2+ years for his people to figure out a way to get him a Long Form. Now in this case, as my Grandfather used to say ” If it walks like a Duck, looks like a Duck, and sounds like a Duck…its a Duck” Now if you look at the Certificate it may look like a real one next to a real one. But if you look at the situation, at the context of it, the timing of the release and how long it took you could say its a fake one. The FACT is, it should have never been an issue. Every other President before him both Democrat and Republican PROVIDED it up front*, as well as their educational records, and tax records. This President has gotten away with concealing SO MUCH FOR SO LONG. If there wasn’t a problem why would he conceal it? Its a simple question.” -tazer357 (*Darrin’s note: no, they didn’t, because nobody ever thought to ask a caucasian president to prove he was an American) “And one is to believe that a person would spend a few mill on lawyers to dodge the issue of simply whipping this mint copy of “live birth”, not a birth certificate, out of their sock drawer? Perhaps the anti tea party Buttbama loving groupies need to further their education. It’s all bogus.” -kevinbecham “it’s a fake!!!! i’ve seen obamas family picture (in an email) and they do not give BC’s to monkeys!!!!” -rwalden
There are two slightly less bat-shit insane groups of conspiracy theorists: the kind who accept the facts, but then concoct a NEW conspiracy theory to explain why they were duped into believing the original conspiracy theory… and the kind who simply try to change the subject and hope you forget they ever mentioned it in the first place. Sometimes you get people who do both:
“So basically, just like I already knew, this was hidden for no other purpose than to deliberately cause controversy so Obama could use it to demean & dismiss those that oppose him. He could have done this when McCain was made to show his in 2008, instead he used it in typical Saul Alinsky style. The question is not WHERE he was born but WHY has he hidden all of his personal information? He is a liar, a rac ist, a Mar xist, Social ist, Commun ist, pick one. He just attended “Easter” services at a church where the B L A C K “pastor” is another Jerimiah Wright, lots of coverage of that huh? -paintinc56
(sigh) This is the kind of sad chapter in our history that the “racism is all behind us” crowd will be working overtime to forget. Which is why I propose turning it into a national holiday. Henceforth, Americans will celebrate April 27 as “Black-President-Had-to-Prove-He-Was-an-American-Day.” Some of us will hang our heads in lingering resentment, racists will gleefully and ironically barbecue, and all of us will eventually use it as just another excuse to take off work for a day. And Hallmark will clean up.

Twit Wisdom by Senator Grassley

As reported in today’s Boston Globe, eight year-old Republican Senator Chuck Grassley went straight to Twitter to vent his outrage at President Obama’s request that Congress deliver on the stalled healthcare reform legislation.
Grassley’s first tweet: “Pres Obama you got nerve while u sightseeing in Paris to tell us ‘time to deliver’ on health care. We still on skedul/even workinWKEND.” A short time later: “Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris u said ‘time to delivr on healthcare’ When you are a ‘hammer’ u think evrything is NAIL I’m no NAIL.”
I’ve scanned through the Senator’s old twits looking for similar condemnations he must have issued every time President Bush said “I want that legislation on my desk” while vacationing at his ranch in Crawford, TX. I couldn’t find a single one. Call me crazy, but I suspect Twitter not having existed back then is only part of the reason.

Comparing Our Torture to Japan’s Torture?

This week, Candorville looks at torture, at a president who’d rather ignore it, and wonders what would’ve happened if that president had been at the helm the last time the whole world was focused on the issue of torture. It’s a sensitive issue, and as with all sensitive issues, it’s open to misinterpretation. For the benefit of those who wrongly think the point of this week’s series is that we’re just as bad as Japan, here’s an e-mail I received yesterday. Read it, then read my response which is included below it.
Hello Mr. Bell, I am an occasional reader of your strip, Candorville. I felt it was necessary for me to voice my opinions about your cartoon published in the Washington Post on May 5th, 2009. Sir, I happen to agree with your apparent sentiment that waterboarding is a cruel and unnecessary measure in interrogation of terror suspects. I believe that there is no place for inhumane or uncivilized tactics in this or any government or military service. However, I took offense to the way you expressed your beliefs on the matter in your cartoon. I want to make abundantly clear that comparing the war crimes of the Japanese Empire to the modern practice of waterboarding is foolish and highly insensitive to those who were prisoners of the Japanese in the far east. Just because our veterans of the second world war are dying at an accelerating pace and disappearing does not give you the right to revision history and diminish what allied and civilian prisoners suffered through. Comparing having water dripped over your face to the horrific inhumane brutality that allied POWs experienced is a minor injustice. Waterboarding is not nearly as violent and horrible as being forced to watch your officers executed by beheading, being forced to consume your own excrement, being beaten constantly, often times to death. Not to mention the fact that the Japanese even crudely crucified some prisoners who vocally shared their Christian or Jewish beliefs. The Japanese forced millions of southeast Asian peoples into slave labor in order to build railroads to carry their oppression into India. roughly 11 million southeast Asians and a much smaller number of allied POWs died at the hands of the Japanese as they built these railroads. There are many other atrocities committed by the Japanese Empire, but you probably get my point. While I agree with your sentiment, your delivery was downright inappropriate. My Grandfather served during World War II in the pacific theater. I’m sure that if he were alive today, he would share my sentiments. You do not need to do so, but I look forward to your response. (P.S. I do enjoy your strip Sir!) Very Respectfully, [Name withheld by Candorville.com] Cadet, Virginia Military Institute class of 2012 Naval Midshipman
And, my response: Dear Mr. [Name withheld by Candorville.com], Thanks for taking the time to write, and for occasionally reading Candorville. I’m glad you’ve given me the opportunity to clear up a few things. I’ll try to answer you point by point to make sure I don’t miss anything.
“Sir, I happen to agree with your apparent sentiment that waterboarding is a cruel and unnecessary measure in interrogation of terror suspects. I believe that there is no place for inhumane or uncivilized tactics in this or any government or military service. However, I took offense to the way you expressed your beliefs on the matter in your cartoon. I want to make abundantly clear that comparing the war crimes of the Japanese Empire to the modern practice of waterboarding is foolish and highly insensitive to those who were prisoners of the Japanese in the far east.”
You’re reading too much into it. The cartoon is not comparing the act of waterboarding to the whole host of Japanese war crimes, it’s comparing it to Japanese waterboarding, and it does so for a reason. As I said on the Candorville website today: Waterboarding was one of the atrocities for which we prosecuted the Japanese after WW2. It’s a fact that we and the rest of the “civilized” world considered waterboarding to be torture. We considered it to be inhumane and sadistic. We did not attempt to dismiss it as “having water dripped over your face.” We considered it so far beyond the realm of acceptable wartime behavior that it deserved to be listed among all the other acts of barbarism the Japanese committed. It was wedged right in there, along with systematic rape, beheadings, and the other sadistic acts you mentioned. Of course, that was when it was done to OUR people. When it’s our people doing it, that’s when we start to rationalize it by saying it’s not as bad as the worst offenses other people commit. Our government adopted one of the criminal tactics of the Imperial Japanese. THAT, not the person who points that out, is what’s insensitive to those who were prisoners of the Japanese in the far east.
“Just because our veterans of the second world war are dying at an accelerating pace and disappearing does not give you the right to revision history and diminish what allied and civilian prisoners suffered through.”
At the risk of repeating myself, pointing out that Japanese waterboarding was considered a war crime on par with all their others doesn’t diminish anyone’s suffering. Adopting any of the Imperial Japanese’ inhumane tactics (and accepting the Bush administration’s characterization of it as a relatively minor infraction) — that’s what diminishes what Allied prisoners suffered through. Portraying it as something that’s so relatively “minor” that it doesn’t even warrant use as an analogy, that’s what rewrites history.
“Waterboarding is not nearly as violent and horrible as being forced to watch your officers executed by beheading, being forced to consume your own excrement, being beaten constantly, often times to death. Not to mention the fact that the Japanese even crudely crucified some prisoners who vocally shared their Christian or Jewish beliefs. The Japanese forced millions of southeast Asian peoples into slave labor in order to build railroads to carry their oppression into India. roughly 11 million southeast Asians and a much smaller number of allied POWs died at the hands of the Japanese as they built these railroads. There are many other atrocities committed by the Japanese Empire, but you probably get my point.”
I do, and I hope you’ll realize that in making your point, you’re also making my point for me. We adopted a criminal tactic from people like that. People who also found it perfectly acceptable to behead officers, force prisoners to eat excrement, beat them to death, crucify them, march them til they died, enslave them, etc. THESE are the people we took our lead from. And that is so disgraceful, so important, that we haveto acknowledge it. America has been hiding from this conversation for years. It’s time to stop pussyfooting around it and speak in stark, unequivocal terms.
“While I agree with your sentiment, your delivery was downright inappropriate. My Grandfather served during World War II in the pacific theater. I’m sure that if he were alive today, he would share my sentiments.”
Inappropriate is in the eye of the beholder. Candorville states what I consider to be harsh truths. It is undeniably true that we adopted a torture measure that we had previously condemned when it was committed against our own people. That is a fact. Us doing that was inappropriate. My pointing it out is not. My Grandfather also served during World War II in the Pacific theater (nearly died at Guadal Canal). I’ve been lucky in that he is still alive today. I’m at his house as I type this, making sure he understands the instructions for his new pills before I head home. I showed him your e-mail, and he wants me to tell you that while he appreciates your sentiments, he most definitely does not share them. If I haven’t changed your mind about the wisdom of my commentary, I hope I’ve clarified my point and that you at least understand where I’m coming from a little better. I have nothing but respect for the veterans of World War 2, and it’s turned my stomach to see our country dishonor them by engaging in the same tactic as the people my grandfather fought against so long ago.
“(P.S. I do enjoy your strip Sir!) Very Respectfully, [Name witheld by Candorville.com] Cadet, Virginia Military Institute class of 2012 Naval Midshipman”
Thanks! And thanks again for taking the time to write. Respectfully, Darrin Bell https://www.candorville.com

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