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UPDATE – Seattle Times pushes back cancellation date

UPDATE #2:

The cancellation date has now been pushed back to January 4, 2009, not December 21, 2008. Keep writing! It’s much easier to get your local paper to change its mind BEFORE it’s removed the comic strip than after, so write NOW.

UPDATE:

Your e-mails and phone calls to the Seattle Times may be having an impact. They originally planned to cancel Candorville as of November 22, but now they’ve pushed that back to December 21 (which’ll be too bad, because I’ve written a Christmas sequence that I’m sure you’re going to like, especially if you’re a C-Dog fan). So keep it up, if you want to see Candorville stay in your paper, now’s your chance. They’re paying attention to you.

If you’re a Seattle Times reader and you want Candorville to stay in your paper, you’ve got to contact them NOW by writing to [email protected]. Tell them why you want it to stay, what Candorville means to you, and get all your Seattle-area friends, colleagues, etc. to do the same.

If you don’t WRITE TO THEM NOW, Seattle, you won’t get to see what happens to Roxanne early next year.

ATTENTION SEATTLE READERS – Write to the TIMES, now!

ATTENTION SEATTLE READERS:

The Seattle Times is cancelling Candorville as of November 22. If you’re a Seattle Times reader and you want Candorville to stay in your paper, you’ve got to contact them NOW by writing to [email protected]. Tell them why you want it to stay, what Candorville means to you, and get all your Seattle-area friends, enemies, and exes (now I’m just being redundant) to do the same.

This is just Lemont’s luck: every ten steps forward, he runs into one giant leap back. Candorville’s added more than a dozen new papers in the last two months, but losing a voice in Seattle, the largest urban area in the Pacific Northwest, would be awful.

Sometimes papers cancel a strip to save money because they think readers won’t miss it. If nobody complains, it stays canceled. If enough people protest, they change their mind and return it. Other papers have canceled Candorville in the past, but almost every time, reader response has caused them to restore Candorville to the comics page.

If you want that to happen in Seattle, WRITE TO THEM NOW!

Candorville trial in the Sacramento Bee

If you live in or around Sacramento, or somehow read the Bee, be sure to let them know you want them to keep “Candorville.” They’re trying it out over the next four Sundays as a Sunday-only replacement for “Opus,” which ended last week. They’re asking readers to leave comments (saying whether they should permanently add Candorville) in this thread on their discussion forum. I’ve had a Terminator-themed strip ready to go for the past couple years, but didn’t want to run it unless it would appear in California’s capital. So help get Candorville into Governor Schwarzenegger’s paper so I can finally publish it!

Obama, the Porch, and Grandpa Roscoe

Yesterday, I drove to my 89 year-old grandfather’s house. He lives just a few blocks from Florence and Normandie, the flashpoint of the ’94 riots. Grandpa Roscoe was born and raised in 1919 in Marshall, TX. He was nearly killed twice, once when the Japanese torpedoed his attack cargo ship, the Alhena, at Guadal Canal, and again when his ship crashed and sank off the Farallon Islands near the end of the war.

In 1941, he enlisted in the Navy. He stood atop the platform at the train station, waiting for the North-bound train to boot camp. “Do a dance for us,” he heard. He was alone on the platform with two white men. They were talking to him. Roscoe stood tall and said “I don’t dance.” “Well sing a song for us, then,” they insisted. “No,” he answered. The train arrived. The two men and Roscoe climbed aboard. They took their seats. Roscoe continued through the aisle, through the dividing doors, and into the car reserved for black soldiers. Someone told the car to keep the curtains drawn until they reached the North.

In the 1930’s, he walked into town to vote for the first time. Doesn’t remember who it was for. He passed a house with a weathered picket fence. A dog ran out of the open fence and jumped on him, biting and tearing at his clothes and his flesh. A white man wearing brown pants and a beige shirt sat on the porch of the house, slowly dragging on a cigarette. After a while, the man called the dog off and it let go, and ambled back through the fence. It settled down next to the man on the porch, who stared at Grandpa Roscoe while he patted the dog’s head. Roscoe went to town with torn pants, bleeding, and voted.

He returned to the house in the passenger seat of a sheriff’s car and pointed out the man, who was still sitting on his porch, still smoking. The deputy sighed, got out of the car, and approached the man. Roscoe opened his door and rose from the car, standing in the dirt outside the white picket fence with his arms folded. After a few seconds of conversation with the man on the porch, the officer walked around to peer through a gate into the back yard. Roscoe heard barking, loud and resounding, coming from the yard. The deputy turned and marched back toward the police car. “Says he doesn’t even own a dog,” the deputy said, before slipping behind the wheel and driving away.

Roscoe watched the car disappear through the trees, turning up dirt and gravel as it rounded a turn. The barking stopped and started again. The man on the porch smiled. Or maybe he didn’t; it didn’t matter. Roscoe turned and slowly walked away from the house. The walk home was slow, as if he were walking through ankle-deep mud. Trees, Gravel. Crickets chirping somewhere in the woods. Frogs. Butterflies. They all sounded and looked too intense.

Yesterday I sat on his plush white couch, the couch I’d struggled to climb onto 30+ years ago. It was still covered in the same plastic it arrived in a few years before I was born. I watched him sitting in his worn, brown chair, watching his TV. Not moving. Barely blinking. Not smiling, not daring to believe it even when CNN called Pennsylvania, and then Ohio, for Obama. Even as I swore to him McCain couldn’t win without one of those states. I saw him fidget a little in his seat and rub his knee absentmindedly with his hand when they called Florida for Obama. His chair began to rock a little, and at every commercial break he would slowly pick up the remote, look at it closely, and with a shaking hand, change it to another news channel.

I noticed the black oval clock with gray and white painted swans, ticking atop his old, non-working TV in the other corner. That clock was maybe 20 years older than I am. The photo next to it, of him at 30, wearing his starched grey bus driver uniform. The photo albums stacked next to it with images of my grandmother and him at a colored’s-only night club, looking smooth and classy, and eternally young, like they stepped right out of a 1940’s movie. Him in his battle fatigues, at boot camp in late 1941, carrying a gun they would never let him carry during the war. Him, barbecuing in the driveway of the house he bought a decade later. Him, marrying his second wife years after my grandmother passed.

I saw him sit up straight, as straight as I’ve ever seen him be, when Keith Olbermann said “Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States.” And when they cut to scenes of jubilation all around the world, in Kenya, in Europe, in Time Square, at a black college, in Chicago, I saw him smile the way I’ve only ever seen him smile when he met his great grandson for the first time. “Look at all those people,” he said over and over again.

I noticed the time, it was hours past his bedtime and I asked if he wanted to go to sleep, but he wasn’t tired. Not at all. We watched Obama speak. We watched people cry. We knew who Jesse Jackson was thinking about when the cameras caught him weeping. We watched millions of people cheering as if a war was just won. We heard firecrackers right outside, coming from the house next door, and the house two doors down. Then the house across the street. I thanked him for watching the election with me, gathered my things, gave him a hug, and walked to my car. Palm trees in the distance were swaying and leaves and bushes were rustling in the suddenly-fierce Santa Ana winds. He stood on his porch and waved to me as I backed out of the driveway. Even when I was so small I had to climb onto his couch, I had never seen him look so tall.

“B” is for “Moron”

Ashley Todd and her scarlet letter

Never before have I been so pissed about my website being down. Yesterday, when I made my usual rounds of the Net’s preeminent hate sites, I came across a huge (HUGE) headline on the Drudge Report. Apparently a McCain volunteer had been viciously “mutilated.” She was a 20 year-old white girl, brutally attacked by a huge, dark skinned (of course) black man. He mugged her, and when he saw her McCain bumper sticker he flew into a rage, held her down, punched her, kicked her over and over again, and then carved a “B” (for “Barack”) into her face, to “teach her a lesson.”

 I’d heard this story before. We all have. Countless times. Only sometimes it’s a young white mother whose kids were stolen by a large black man (only later come to find out she was a little bit off in the details: her kids were actually sitting at the bottom of a lake where she’d put them days earlier).

I try to suspend my cynicism when I hear about things like this, because these sorts of attacks do occasionally happen. Thugs and monsters come in all colors, creeds, and shoe sizes. But then I got to the part of the article where it said she hadn’t gone to the hospital. And the part where her friend drove her around for a while until they found the place where the attack supposedly occurred. And the part where her photograph showed the “B” carved BACKWARD in her cheek, as if whoever had done it had been looking in a mirror.

But my website was down, so I couldn’t point out any of this. So I went to sleep, feeling 100% sure the hoax would be uncovered by morning. And sure enough it was. She made it up. This 20 year-old College Republican member from Texas, Ashley Todd, made the whole thing up. Reality wasn’t helping out in the whole “Obama and his supporters are scary, dangerous traitors” routine, so she had to do something. And who can blame her? She was raised in an era where her favorite party made a practice of fabricating their own facts when the real ones weren’t advantageous for them.

But at least she could’ve carved the “B” foreward. I hope that “B” she’s going to be carrying around for the rest of her life is a scarlet letter that’ll remind her, from now on, not to be such a moron.

On the bright side, when she’s out of jail, she’s got quite a career ahead of her in the Republican Party.

Bootleg video of this Wednesday’s prez debate

I swung over to China this morning for some authentic Szechwan Style Red Snapper with a side of oppression. Afterward, I rolled through Shanghai’s America-town, where I found this bootleg copy of the upcoming third and final presidential debate. There’s a little off-color language, so don’t watch this at work:

North Carolina readers: Vote for Candorville!

Warm up for the upcoming elections by voting for Candorville in another reader poll! If you live in North Carolina or you read the Raleigh News & Observer, go to the News & Observer’s website and vote for them to KEEP CANDORVILLE.

If you don’t care about the other strips they’re mentioning, then only check the Candorville box.Candorville didn’t have an easy time getting into the N&O, since the week it debuted in that big Southern paper, we were running a pretty blunt “Closeted Gay Republican Hypocrites” series. The readership was bitterly divided in the N&O forums, but a perceptive editor realized that meant people would read it every day; even if only to have something to complain about.

But over time, editors sometimes tire of the hate mail controversial comics generate, so they need these polls and any positive comments readers feel like sending to remind them why they originally thought it would be worth the trouble.  If you want to see Candorville remain in the Raleigh News & Observer, you’ve got to remind them now.

You & your family can vote up to five times per computer.

Thanks for clearing that up

This has been going around the internets for a day or two. Anyone know who wrote it?:

Just to clear things up – I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight….. If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re “exotic, different.”

Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers: a quintessential American story.

If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

Name your kids Willow, Trig, and Track: you’re a maverick.

Graduate from Harvard Law School and you are unstable.

Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating: you’re well grounded.

If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.

If your total resume is: local weather girl (sports caster), 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with fewer than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive.

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a good moral Christian.

If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you’re very responsible. If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America’s.

If your husband is nicknamed “First Dude”, with at least one DUI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now…..

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